The teachers were also a motley assortment with some so old they looked as though they might drop dead in the middle of a lesson and others younger and more intimidating. It was the latter group that was more dangerous because they gave “cuts” for real or imagined transgressions. The “caning” of boys was standard disciplinary procedure in those days and generally consisted of three strokes to the behind with a light, bamboo cane for minor infractions and six stokes for more serious offences.
The headmaster of the school was a stern, red faced individual with thinning hair combed straight back. He was devoid of a sense of humour and I didn’t once see him smile in the five years I was at the school. Understandably, his nickname was “Turkey” because of his ruddy complexion but also because of his drooping jowls which resembled the wattles on a turkey. The Afrikaans word for turkey is kalkoen and this poem is accordingly titled “Meneer de Kalkoen” or Mister Turkey.
Meneer de Kalkoen
Die Hoof van ons skool was besonders gemeen Met ʼn bloedrooi gesig en ʼn kalkoen kakebeen Groen oe soos albasters, koud hard en rond En nimmer ʼn glimlag op sy stywe ou mondLanger as ses voet en reguit soos ʼn paal Hare effe bles die blinkkleur van staal En hande soos skopgrawe soepel en sterk Heel geskik om oorlelle se sake te werk
Sy bynaam? Wat anders as “Meneer de Kalkoen” Maar slegs buite gehoor word dit hardop genoem Want sê jy dit elders en word jy gevang Gaan jou sitvlak goed brand van rottang se gesang
Sy voorkoms en humeur het gesag afgedwing Maar seuns bly maar seuns en die duiwel glip in Onnoselle jeug hoekom waag jy so ʼn streek In sy kantoor word jou astrantheid gou-gou gebreek
Regter, Jurie en Laksman drie in een is Kalkoen Jy’s skuldig, buk vooroor, vingerpunte teen skoen Trek boudspiere styf, beheer skreeuende brein Hoor rottang se fluit wetend hier kom die pyn
Drie pers strepe sal kort-kort jou boude versier Net bravade dwing jou daartoe die seer te verduur En die folteraar kyk snags diep in ʼn bottel brandewyn Sy gewete te sus vir sy rol as boodskapper van pyn
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